PET DIARIES UNCOVERED
As seen in a dog's diary:
8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to
kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking
almost
succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must
try this on
their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
to make
them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not
working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and
smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to
use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be
an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every
move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
assured.
But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..........