The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began
to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol.
Aunt Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory
and all she had was a small flask of whiskey,
a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't
fall into enemy hands and then her parachute landed
right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot
fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out
of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'til the
blade broke and then she killed the last one with her
bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind
of moral did your daddy teach you from that horrible
story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Carol when she's been drinking."